I walk into a cosy little café and spot her immediately. Younger me, sitting at a table, uniform crisp, looking pretty serious. She’s got that look in her eye, the one that says she’s determined but... exhausted. I grab a coffee and sit down across from her.
Younger me: You’re late.
Me: You get used to a slower pace in your new job. No one’s calling me out to a job at 3am anymore.
Younger me: That sounds... nice? But you were meant to be a police officer. That’s all you ever wanted.
Me: I thought so too. And I don’t regret it, but I had to make a change.
Younger me: Why? You passed your Detective Exams! You’re on track!
Me: Yeah, but at what cost? The hours were brutal, the work never ended, and my family barely saw me. I was always exhausted, and even though I was at the top pay band, my take home pay wasn’t what you’d expect after all the deductions.
Younger me: So, you gave it all up? For what?
Me: For something better. For a job where I could still make a difference but actually have a life too.
Younger me: Hmm, that sounds... risky.
Me: It was. But you know what finally pushed me over the edge? Getting moved teams again. No warning, no choice. It made me realise how little control I had over my own life. And with six kids (five of them dependant) and my health condition, psoriatic arthritis, getting worse, I knew I couldn’t keep going like that.
Younger me: So, what is it you do now?
Me: I’m an ASB (anti-social behaviour) and Tenancy Enforcement Officer at Yorkshire Housing. I still deal with investigations, write statements, manage risk, and handle difficult situations - just without the relentless hours and high-pressure chaos.
Younger me: But you liked the chaos!
Me: I thought I did. But I like sleep, and seeing my kids grow up, even more.
Younger me: Fair point. Do you miss anything about the job?
Me: Of course. The people, the friendships, the rush of a big case. But I don’t miss the exhaustion. I don’t miss the missed birthdays, the unpredictability, or the constant feeling of running on empty.
Younger me: What’s your day like now?
Me: I manage my own diary. No sudden changes, no never-ending shifts. I can actually plan things. If my kids have an event, I can be there. The flexibility has changed everything for me!
Younger me: And you’re happier?
Me: I’m so much happier and healthier. The stress used to make my arthritis unbearable, and now? It’s manageable. Plus, I’m still using everything I learned in the police, just in a way that works for my life.
Younger me: Alright, I’ll admit that sounds pretty good!
Me: It’s the best decision I ever made, and I wish you knew earlier that it’s ok to change direction.
Younger me: So, what’s next?
Me: Who knows? But for the first time, that’s exciting rather than terrifying.
Younger me: I never thought we’d end up here!
Me: Neither did I, but I’m really glad we did.
As I finish my coffee, I see the doubt still lingering on her face, but also relief. Maybe she doesn’t fully believe me yet. But one day, she will.
This International Women’s Day, I’m celebrating change, growth, and the women who’ve supported me along the way. To every woman out there making bold choices: keep going, you won’t regret it.